Talking.

Talking is a form of communication between two or more people. The media are the mouth and ears. It is via this that many form of interpersonal relationships issues are resolved. Dating cannot occur without it. The easiest form of communication that destroys all relationship related challenges is empathy achieve through talking. If you see two or more people that are at logger heads with each other, they may not have been doing enough of talking.

There are tidbits on talking that will enhance your communication, relationships or dating:

(1) see words as a messenger of intensions or the medium by which thoughts are conveyed, therefore ask for clarification when in doubts and never assume you already know especially when feelings are being hurt;

(2) never use abusive word(s);

(3) make it an habit to always listen than you talk;

(4) when angry do not talk much or talk at all;

(5) when happy do not promise;

(6) always ask if your partner understood you;

(7) don't be afraid to talk about your differences; you cannot hide them forever. 

Here are my few tidbits do well to also share your thoughts on areas not covered above.

Thank you for your time with me today. Join me next time for a fresh episode. Till then, never forget to always rule your world. 

Dates and dating

Darting is the act of getting to know each other. It is an act of asking questions (most times not question that requires a yes or no answers but open-ended types) and receiving response(s). This act has has levels and grows as mutual understanding and commitment is established. The knowing can be a lifetime education and exploration of the beliefs of your friend or partner. It oftentimes involves intention and attention to behaviors, speeches and actions as action speaks louder than words. Humans can lie with their mouth, but it is close to impossible to lie in actions, lifestyle and behavior. This indeed involve flexibility and commitments. Flexibility because some actions can be misinterpreted. Commitment because you may need two to three or even more actions before you can conferm motive(s).

Guesses, false hopes, and assumptions are some of the enemies to this act we are talking about. Disappointment emanates and grows from the fertile ground of assumption(s). 

One of the aims of exploration, asking open-ended questions in order to know your friend is because you value them hence it is important to really hold in high esteem or respect the friendship otherwise why should it start in the first place? Other reasons of this quest is that we want to share in their feelings (their joy or probably pain). The last reason is just because we want to understand them.

It will be my pleasures if you join me next time for a fresh episode. Till then don't forget to keep a healthy relationship. 

The great king part II

Good morning, welcome, and happy new year. We shall continue with the story of the great king we started last week.

In an attempt at influencing the opinion of the members of the jury domiciled in its kingdom, some kings and kingdom representatives try to buy their (the jury's) integrity. Efforts at bending the will of jury sometimes if channeled into training the princes and princesses are enough at making them envy. Some don’t even bother about the welfare of the children. While some kings decide to send wayward children to other provinces or kingdoms. This obviously never worked for any of such because no kingdom will want any stranger or visitor to rubbish her hard work. Few kings went for what the ancient script says: train up a child in the ways of the Lord and when he is old he shall never depart from it. They first isolated the children and put them under rigorous training in schools, churches under the careful watch of trusted missionaries until they attain a certain age.

There was a certain king who went as far as setting up a committee to choose a girl of noble birth, an epitome of beauty and paragon of virtue as a wife for his son. To him, the foundation of the child begins with the mother alongside all other training. Years later, that same kingdom became the greatest. Then afterward, it became the duty of the state to select the girl for the prince and see how she becomes the prince's favorite. Winning thereafter became their tradition.

Here are some nuggets gave by an elder in building a great company:

1)      As long as you keep doing the fundamental thing that made you great, you will never slip from greatness;

2)      Any situation such as poor sales, poor growth is an indication or reflection of a course, find it and trash it;

3)      On a few occasions, symptoms themselves must be dealt with; poor sales maybe because the sales manager is not good at his work;

4)      Identify the fundamental issue of why things are not working;

5)      Be ready to embrace the truth however ugly it may be;

6)      Great result don’t emerge by once-in-a-while good decision, consistency is the key;

7)      Chaos to order, order to growth;

Until next time when we shall meet with a fresh episode, don’t forget to always rule your world.

The great king

Once upon a time, the reputation, splendor, and authority of a kingdom and its king grows with respect to how well the private life of the king especially his family is faring. ‘How well’ is defined using many yardsticks and standards namely:

(1)   The children behavior;

(2)   Their respect for elders;

(3)   Their measure of self-worth;

(4)   Maturity in speech and presentation;

(5)   Maturity in social and marital relationships;

(6)   Intellectual capabilities and ease at which they learn and advance in the kingdom system;

(7)   Ease at which they learn foreign languages;

(8)   Commitment and love for citizens and kingdom affairs etc.

The judges are men of reputation who will never bow to any pressure and influence. Each of which is selected from the different kingdoms whose kings are to be assessed. The head of the jury is believed to be a special deity who will never tolerate any form of preferential treatment or partiality. Whoever tries such is punishable by death even before he takes action to avert justice.

Here are some tidbits an elder told me in building an enduring great company:

(1)   You must create a system to measure how well your company is performing in the economy relative to other high performing companies in your industry;

(2)   The measuring system created must be true to the overriding situation in the industry/economy and not blindfolded by the company’s status quo;

(3)   The Key Performance Indicators must be both tactical and strategic, operational and financial and they should effectively capture the moment while equally forecasting the future;

(4)   What you cannot measure you cannot monitor;

(5)   Inputs and efforts must be such as to control the dynamics of events according to results of measurements in order to monitor and spur growth so as to achieve set goals.

Until next time when we shall continue with our story, don’t forget to always rule your world.

The truth shall set you free

The ancient script says: you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Truth is the correct, undiluted and unalloyed state of any situation which remain valid regardless of age, race, culture, personality and geographical location. A great leader is known and honored the same way in Nigeria, United states, England, Germany, Israel, China etc. Different people may have different perspective of the truth but there is always only one truth pertaining to any situation. It is only the few who accept this truth and work on it that it sets free. Hence it is only the truth you act upon that sets one free not the one that you fold your arms.

We can find an example of embracing and working on the truth in these two companies: Atlantic and Pacific company (otherwise known as A&P) and Kroger company. Both companies are into retail sales. In the first half of the twentieth century when two world wars and equally depression eat deep into America, every citizen spent with frugality. But in the second half of the century, the economy became better. People can afford expensive things with ease and America completely changed. Majority if not all wanted bigger and nicer stores, they want to make variety of choices.

A&P stock to the old way of doing things, selling cheap things with frugality while Kroger tried and started evolving. Both companies had the same feedback (which is the truth) but only Kroger really responded to the dynamics and embraced change. The result was self-evident Kroger attained a cumulative returns ten times the market and eithy times higher than A&P.

Here are some tidbits that an elder told me will help me live the truth I know:

1)         Your environment, the house you live, the people you associate with etc. is a perfect reflection of your life;

2)         Time is more important than money --- Jim Rohn;

3)         Results don’t lie;

4)         In real world, results may not be as accurate and fast as Mathematics;

5)         The faster you respond to feedbacks, the easier the process of change --- Gideon Ebelebe.

Till next time when we shall be meeting with a fresh episode, don’t forget to always rule your world.

Integrity

It means being true to your words and great taught. It means having moral standards that you will never compromise no matter the situation. I read of a young pastor who preached about integrity in his local church with a passion. The following morning, he took the taxi on a personal mission of visiting a friend. When he alighted from the taxi-cab, he counted the money the taxi driver gave him as his balance, he discovered that he was given much more money than he deserved. He taught for a moment and decided to return the excess. He then told him that he had made a mistake of giving him more money than required. The driver replied that: there are no mistakes anywhere, I was under your ministration yesterday when you spoke passionately about integrity and I have decided to conduct a practical session, you can go with the money; I promise to be in your church next Sunday.

An elderly man told me the following for building a great company and living a fulfilled life based on the foundation of integrity:

1)   Be clear about personal or corporate values and ethics you will not compromise come what may;

2)  Eliminate friends who always praise, validate, celebrate  every single word, action, and lifestyle you take without raising any question;

3)      Make friends with individuals who have great moral standards;

4)      Competitions, comparative reviews of your company’s product and services with other highly performing companies in your industry globally should be encouraged;

5)      Read great books;

6)      Be committed to established religious organizations;

7)      Recruit workers who are experts at what they do and also have laudable private life;

8)      Constantly strive to become better in all aspects of your life

If God lay it on your mind to help me in any way, my PayPal email is ebelebeonline@gmail.com.

Till next time when we shall be meeting with a fresh package, do not forget to always rule your world

Two life goats

There exists a competition in Kogi state Nigeria where young men compete for the prize of a strong man. The competition involves eating goat meat. A large amount of goat will be slaughtered and cooked in a delicious soup. Then, young men, chaps will be invited to the feast. The last man to stop eating i.e. who eats a lot or the biggest amount of meat then emerge the winner. A very important condition of the feast is that they are continuously flogged while they eat the meat: a bittersweet experience if you choose to call it that way. The prize for winning is two live goats.

Therefore the winner is normally the one who can endure most while still ‘enjoying’.

Sometimes when we expect results either personally or in our business, there is a need to endure and persevere pain, difficult challenges, ‘wilderness experience’ etc.

Here are some tidbits that were given to me by an elder to help in maintaining my life focus:

1                    be sure your business is about what you love doing;

2                    always create a goal that you are passionate about;

3                    be sure all your team understand the plans for your goals;

4                 always ask yourself questions relevant to your core competencies and whatever it is that you can be best in the world at;

5                    all staff should be allowed to make known their deep-seated fears and doubts;

6                    the day you stop doing what makes you great, you start to die.

Until next time when we shall be meeting with a fresh title, don’t forget to always do something that is worth writing about.